Intangible Read online

  “Sorry I’m late,” Hayden says as he slips into the chair next to me.

  Mine and Robin’s eyes lock for a moment before darting over to Hayden.

  “Uh, no problem,” I say. “You really don’t have to watch me every second, Hayden. I think I’m safe enough at school.”

  Hayden’s eyebrows scrunch in annoyance. “It doesn’t hurt to have another pair of eyes.”

  I try not to sigh, because I know he means well, but it’s hard.

  “Besides,” Hayden says, “you know you want to eat half my fries. I don’t know why you keep getting salads when you clearly don’t like them.”

  “They’re healthy,” I say as I snatch a fry off his tray.

  The shake of his head makes me smile a little. Robin kicking me under the table does not. I roll my eyes at her. She knows keeping Hayden away isn’t easy. As far as he knows, I have a lunatic stalker watching my very move. On top of that, Hayden also believes I am still heartbroken over my imaginary globe-hopping almost boyfriend, and that there’s a chance I’ll eventually get over it and throw myself into his arms.

  I really tried to tell him that I’m not interested in dating, at all, but Hayden is nothing if not persistent.

  “So, what are your plans for after school?” Hayden asks.

  Before I can even open my mouth, Robin interrupts. “I’ve got this afternoon covered, thank you very much. We’re studying together at Olivia’s house.”

  “What subject?”

  “We don’t need a babysitter, but thanks,” Robin says sweetly.

  Turning back to me, Hayden says, “Tonight, then? We could watch a movie at your house. I know your dad isn’t keen on you going out.”

  Like I said, he’s persistent. I smile. “Thanks, but I’m still recovering from the hospital stay. I have a hard time staying up much past eight. Maybe in a few days when I’m feeling more like myself, okay?”

  Hayden takes the rejection gracefully, but I know he’ll hold me to later. Robin knows it as well and frowns. What does she expect me to do? Running from Hayden does absolutely no good. I’ve tried. It only seems to double his determination to protect me. I’m not trying to lead him on. I’m trying to derail his infatuation with me into a straight shot to the friend zone.

  I’m relieved when the bell rings a few minutes later. Hayden and I only have one class together this afternoon, so I won’t have to deal with the confusion surrounding him too much until he inevitably shows up at my locker after school to make sure I wasn’t killed or kidnapped during one of my classes. I reach for my half-eaten salad, but Hayden has already grabbed my tray and stacked it on top of his. His fingers curl around my uninjured arm as he helps me up.

  My look is just a little bit withering. “I’m worn out, not ninety. I can stand up on my own.”

  “I know,” Hayden says with a grin.

  It’s really hard to stay irritated at him. As much as I don’t want to like him, he really is a sweet guy. Even still, I pull out of his grip and shoo him off to dump our trays.

  “Ready?” Hayden asks a few minutes later. His eyes scan the hallway in front of us before taking a step.

  Robin rolls her eyes. “Lead the way, Captain Overprotective.”

  As usual, Hayden ignores her sarcasm and starts guiding us to our next class. We follow a few steps behind where the chatter of the hallways will drown out our talking.

  Leaning toward me, Robin says, “Why are you letting him hang around? He’s getting in the way. Are you keeping him on hand as a backup in case things go badly with Mason?”

  The sharp bite isn’t appreciated any more than her words. “Don’t question my devotion to Mason,” I hiss. “I’m the one willing to die in order to save his life, if that’s what it takes. You’re the one who seems to see him as a get out of jail free card.”

  My attitude toward Robin has changed a lot, but when she makes comments like that, it’s hard not to bite back. I turn away and focus on the back of Hayden’s head.

  As much as I am sympathetic toward Robin, I fear she wouldn’t be half as motivated to help me if she didn’t think Mason could spirit her away from her abusive family for good. I have no ulterior motive when it comes to Mason. His safety has been my goal since the day I found him. I will find him again, and I will do everything in my power to get him back home to the Aerling world. If my life is the price, so be it.

  Hayden opens the door for us and Robin stomps in without a backward glance. The confusion on Hayden’s face goes unanswered. I sit down at my desk and reach for my notebook, but a sudden buzz from my back pocket makes me jump. I don’t think twice before pulling my phone out and flicking the screen to life, my heart and soul praying it is Mason.

  That hope crashes to the linoleum tile beneath my feet as I see Mom’s smile come up next to the text. It’s just a reminder that she’ll be at work until dinner and we need to reset the alarm as soon as we get home. I flip the phone over and drop it on my desk as a bout of depression kicks in. It’s been three days, and already I’m drowning, gasping for even the tiniest connection with Mason.

  I never used to be a crier, but these last few days have been unbearable. Tears burn the backs of my eyes and my whole focus goes toward keeping them from falling. Hayden is looking at me with a worried expression, but I ignore him. My whole soul craves Mason. Dying to save his life doesn’t give me a moment’s pause, but living my life without him is too much to bear. I can feel the need to be near him questing out, reaching and begging.

  Something inside of me needs to be near him, something that goes beyond me missing him. I don’t know how to explain the sudden heaviness I feel not having him with me. It is an actual pull to get up and find him, one I can barely control. The ache in my chest builds into something much more than I can contain. I gasp as the desire consumes me entirely, bringing blackness as I lose the fight and slump to my desk.

  Chapter 3

  Difficulty

  (Olivia)

  Waking up to half a dozen faces staring at me is more than a little unnerving. I gasp at the sight and cringe away from them. A hand closes down on my shoulder. The touch feels strange, like my skin is distorted. Yanking my arms away from the hand, I stare at the bare parts of my arms. I don’t know what I expected to see, but my skin looks exactly as it should.

  “What… what happened?” I ask.

  “That’s what we’re all wondering,” my teacher, Mr. Malone, says.

  Robin shoulders through the crowd and offers me her hand. “Back off,” she tells everyone. “Let her get up, for crying out loud.”

  Hayden is right behind her. He gets past the other students and kneels down next to me, stopping Robin from pulling me up. I’m grateful for it, because my head is not feeling quite ready for movement. Robin quits trying to get past Hayden and goes back to getting everyone else out of my face.

  It’s a slow response, but eventually my fellow students take a step back. Once I give him the okay, Hayden helps me back to my feet slowly as Mr. Malone looks on worriedly. I don’t think the majority of the students at my high school had any clue who I was until the story about the attack was broadcasted. Now everyone knows me all too well. I can feel their eyes glued to me like gawkers at a car accident, wondering what catastrophe will befall me next.

  Lately, I find myself wishing I was the one who was invisible.

  “I’m fine,” I say. “Sorry for causing a scene.”

  Mr. Malone rubs his chin, looking a bit unsure. “Why don’t you go down to the nurse? Just to be safe. You’ve been through a lot lately. I’d hate to ignore this and have something happen to you.”

  I hate the idea of drawing more attention to myself, but I really don’t know what just happened and I’m a little freaked out. “Uh, yeah. Probably a good idea.”

  “I’ll take her,” Robin volunteers.

  “I think it’d be better if I take her,” Hayden argues.

  Not that I don’t appreciate his offer, but I know Hayden won’t leave if he takes
me down to see the nurse. I do not want to spend the afternoon with him. I can’t handle that right now. “Uh, it’s okay, Hayden. Maybe Robin should take me.”

  “Why?” Hayden doesn’t look interested in backing down.

  Thankfully, Mr. Malone comes to my rescue. “Hayden, I’m not sure that would be appropriate. No offense, but I think Robin should take her.”

  Looking superior, Robin grabs my backpack in one hand and swings her own onto her shoulder. She nearly topples over from the force, but some guy with blonde hair catches her in time. Robin mumbles a quick thanks before stepping up to me. I’m not usually one to need people, but I let Robin help. When she puts a hand under my biceps to help me up, I nearly cringe away. My skin stills feels weird, like it wants to go somewhere else, with or without me. It’s more than a little disturbing.

  Hayden runs a hand down my arm. It seems difficult for him not to grab me. The pained expression on his face is almost enough to make me change my mind… but I don’t. I smile weakly at him and look to Robin.

  “I’ll call you,” Hayden says, “and you can call me if you need anything.”

  The desperation in his voice hurts. “I know. Thank you, Hayden.”

  Finally, he lets me go and allows Robin to start leading me away.

  “If the nurse sends her home,” Mr. Malone says, “which I’m sure she will, she probably shouldn’t drive herself. Make sure either you or one of her parents drives her.”

  “No problem, Mr. M.”

  Robin hauls me up from my desk and starts pulling us through the crowd of students. A couple of them bump into me and the creepy crawly feeling intensifies. I close my eyes as the disorientation worsens. By the time we reach the hallway, I pull away from Robin and lean against the wall.

  “What’s happening?” she demands. “Are you okay?”

  I shake my head. The motion makes me nauseous and I have to press my forehead against the cool metal of a locker to steady myself.

  “Are you sick?” Robin asks.

  “I don’t know.” I take a deep breath hoping it will help clear away the icky feeling wriggling around in my stomach. “Something doesn’t feel right. My skin… it’s, it’s wrong.”

  Robin stares at me with one of her looks that says I sound like an idiot. “Your skin feels wrong?”

  “It’s like it’s trying to get off me.”

  Robin’s finger reaches out toward me, but I flinch away. “If you touch me, I swear I’ll puke.”

  She snatches her finger back with a grimace. “Ugh. Let’s get to the nurse. No way she’s going to keep you at school.”

  As we walk toward the nurse’s office, the weird feeling slowly begins to ebb. It takes all the way through Nurse Linda trying to call my parents only to find that they both are either in meetings or out of the office before my stomach stops feeling like it’s going to turn inside out. By the time Robin finishes arguing with her about what to do, I am feeling significantly steadier.

  “Okay,” Robin says as she plops down next to me, “the nurse is pulling Evie out of class and giving all three of us passes for the rest of our classes today. I’ll drive you guys home. Your dad can come get your car later.”

  “Wait, why is Evie coming? Is she sick, too?”

  Robin sighs. “No. We’re you not listening?”

  “I was too busy trying not to puke.”

  After rolling her eyes, Robin says, “If you leave now, no one will be here to drive Evie home, and the school is under strict instruction from your parents that neither of you is to leave school alone. So we’re taking her home with us.”

  Rather than admit that makes sense, I turn away and wait for my sister. It isn’t long before Evie comes bursting into the nurse’s office. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

  “I’m fine, just sick to my stomach. We’re going home before I vomit on someone.”

  “That’s all?” Evie asks. Her eyes dart to the nurse. She steps closer as if expecting to now hear the real reason she was called out of class.

  “Not everything is life or death, Evie. I’m just sick. Plain old, regular sick. Come on, let’s go.”

  I’m feeling almost like myself again by the time we get to my house, but I’m still drained and hoping I can escape to my bed when I walk through the front door. I should have known better. Robin ditches our backpacks by the front door and yanks me to the living room couch.

  “Okay, what just happened? I don’t believe for a minute that you suddenly developed a severe case of the stomach flu that only seems to have lasted thirty minutes. Something’s definitely up.”

  Evie crowds in next to me, her eyes fastened to my face. She feels so close and annoying that I want to push her away, but I take a deep breath and keep my hands to myself.

  “I don’t know what happened.” My hands rub against my head. “One minute I was sitting there thinking, and then next, I was waking up on the floor.”

  “You fainted?” Evie demands. “Nobody told me you fainted!”

  “It was nothing,” I argue.

  Robin crooks one eyebrow at me. “Fainting is not nothing. Add in your skin feeling wrong, and something weird is definitely happening.”

  With Evie and Robin both in my face, I feel half suffocated. I push them away from me and stand up, pacing in front of the coffee table. “You guys are not helping me feel better.”

  For a few precious minutes, neither one of them says anything. It takes a while before everything but the jumpiness of my skin fades away. I stop pacing and face them. “I have no idea what happened to me, but I think it had something to do with Mason.”

  “What do you mean?” Evie and Robin both ask at once. They turn and give each other nasty looks before settling their gazes back on me.

  Evie accepts that we need Robin and Robin needs us, but in her mind, that isn’t reason enough to be nice to her. I ignore their cattiness and continue.

  “I was thinking about Mason before it happened, about how much I missed him and wanted to be with him.”

  “So,” Evie says. “If I were to guess, I’d say missing Mason is ninety percent of your thoughts lately. Nothing new there.”

  I shake my head. “No, it was different this time. It started out as me just missing him, but then I needed to be with him. It wasn’t just this sadness about being away from him. Something inside of me was compelling my body to find him. It filled me up and I felt like it was about to burst out of me. It was so consuming, it overwhelmed me. I think that’s when I passed out.”

  Evie stares at me. Robin narrows her eyes as she ponders what I just said. I don’t pass off either one of them. Evie has surprised us before by coming up with just the right answer at the exact right time. Robin, I’m hoping, might actually just know something. I wait, my eyes darting between the two of them. Robin is the first to speak.

  “You know how my mom said Escorts don’t usually meet their Aerlings until later in life?”

  I nod. She said that when I was in the hospital after the Sentinel attack. There isn’t a single second of that night I don’t remember. That was the night Robin’s parents took Mason away from me.

  “Well, when I asked my grandma why Escorts and Aerlings usually meet later in life than you and Mason did, she gave me this funny look and said, ‘Meeting earlier would only cause difficulty.’ Then she started rambling about peanut butter.”

  Evie turns and stares at Robin. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  I’m wondering that as well, but I don’t feel the need to repeat Evie’s snarky question.

  Pointedly turning away from Evie, Robin says, “I’m not entirely sure what she meant by that, but it occurred to me after what you just said, that maybe Escorts and Aerlings come together so late because there might be an issue with them being apart from each other.”

  “Wouldn’t your parents know that, though?” I ask. “Not that they’d share that info with us, but if it was something that could hurt Mason, or my chances of getting him home, they never would h
ave separated us. Getting Mason home is all they care about.”

  “True,” Robin says grudgingly. She sinks back into the couch. “As long as it won’t kill you or Mason, they’d still separate you. I think what happened today definitely is related to what my grandma said.”

  “What does that mean?” Evie asks.

  I finally let myself collapse onto the overstuffed armchair behind me. My fingers rub at my temples slowly. “It probably means this is only going to get worse.”

  Chapter 4

  Selfish Desires

  (Mason)

  The Britton’s watch my every move. After four days, I’ve reached my limit. I can’t go any longer without contacting Olivia. I know the Brittons are keeping such a tight leash on me because stepping outside could mean my death, but only if I make a mistake.

  I creep over to the window in my bedroom knowing it will be screwed to the sill. All the windows are like this. The Brittons didn’t start these precautions the day I got here. Molly has spent her life like this, and it shows. She appreciates that the Brittons have never once lost an Aerling, but I can see in her eyes how much she hates being their virtual prisoner. I don’t like it much either.

  Approaching the window, I consider my options. I don’t want to leave any evidence that I ever left, but I can’t wait any longer. Something happened to Olivia yesterday. I don’t know what it was, but I suspect it wasn’t good.

  The total lack of conscious thought that struck so suddenly yesterday only lasted a few seconds before my head started pounding. All I could think about afterward was Olivia. I don’t remember saying anything, but Molly later told me that I kept whispering “Ollie” over and over again. I stood up at some point and started pacing, trying to find a way out of the house. The overwhelming desire to find Olivia possessed me entirely.

  Then, all of a sudden, it was gone. Like someone turned off a light. I stopped pacing, my hands fell from my head, and I just stood there feeling confused. Poor Molly was freaked out, but she kept her calm amazingly well and didn’t call for help. When I came out it, she simply led me back to where we were sitting and told me to breathe. Neither of us could figure out what it meant, but I knew going much longer without talking to Olivia was simply not going to happen.